Comedian Paula Pell says it’s lonely dating as an older LGBTI person
Comedy writer and actor Paula Pell, who co-stars in Amy Poehler’s upcoming feature film directorial debut Wine Country, opened up about dating as an older gay woman and how lonely it can be.
‘I was divorced from my first wife and went for about four years before I met Janine,’ Pell exclusively tells GSN about meeting her fiancée.
‘I tried to date and it was so miserable and so lonely.’
Things are looking up for Pell’s love life — she and Janine Brito got engaged in August — but it was not always that way.
I asked the sky last year to lift my powerful and stubborn sadness and @janinebrito was hiding behind it. Last week I asked her to marry me because she is a tornado of love and I enjoy being in her path. pic.twitter.com/0FolaGGMBu
— Paula Pell (@perlapell) August 21, 2018
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Being ‘Nana Homo’
‘It was tough to be in LA and be an older gay woman,’ Pell says. ‘Everyone’s paired up and they all have families and homes. It’s a tough thing.’
She tells GSN that in neighborhoods like West Hollywood, she met great people but felt on the outs as an older person in the community.
‘You just feel like Nana Homo that comes by and gives everyone hugs,’ she describes of how she felt in places like that.
Pell is glad times have changed, though, and that more LGBTI people are openly in relationships. Not being in a relationship, however, can still be a hard thing.
‘That wasn’t the case when I was younger, but when you’re not a part of it, it feels very lonesome.’
Learning to be a complete sentence
Before meeting Janine, while she was dating, Pell concedes she was lonely, but she also learned some valuable lessons.
‘When you have a terrible date, it reminds you of who you are and what you want and that you’re better than this,’ she posits. ‘You don’t have to settle for this.’
She uses a specific analogy as a writer to explain what it’s like to learn to love yourself when dating doesn’t go well.
‘It teaches you that you’re a complete sentence,’ she says. ‘You don’t need to wait for someone. My person did not come along until I realized that. Then you’re ready to have somebody love you.
‘It feels good to know that loneliness can turn around.’
Wine Country arrives on Netflix on 10 May.
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Digital Pride is the online movement, by Gay Star News, so you can take part in Pride whoever and wherever you are. Even if you are from a country where being LGBTI is criminalized or leaves you in danger – it’s a Pride festival you can be a part of.
In 2019, Digital Pride is tackling loneliness and isolation with articles and videos connecting LGBTI people. Join us by reaching out to someone who needs it. The festival takes place on Gay Star News from 29 April to 5 May 2019. Find out more.
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Author: Anya Crittenton