Young gay guy finds out what it’s really like to have sex when you’re older

Glance at the showings in any cinema, and it seems the only people allowed to have fulfilling or authentic sex lives are the young, tanned, and chiselled.

Hundreds of movies about twenty-somethings falling in love, while so called ‘grey love’ remains invisible and silent.

Older people are often stereotyped as asexual and devoid of feelings or emotion as societal pressures take their toll. LGBTI older people are no exception.

Instead, we should be open about sex no matter the age and not let age divide us, explains gay activist Peter Scott-Presland.

Digital Pride is the only global Pride and is dedicated to enabling everyone to be part of a Pride, whoever they are and wherever they live in the world. This year, we are focusing on tackling loneliness and isolation. It takes place on Gay Star News from 29 A to 5 May 2019. Find out more.

Is ageing something to be fearful of?

In a new video produced by Gay Star News in partnership with Age UK, Bradley Birkholz, a YouTuber, and Scott-Presland discuss their experiences of family and loneliness.

A much-needed conversation, the pair hash out what being an LGBTI senior is like; what people expect from you, what people think of you.

Despite the age gap between them both, the two spoke openly about sex.

‘Sex tends to focus more on physicality the tactile thing,’ Scott-Presland said, ‘and it has a lot more to do with the emotions that are involved in it as well.

‘You tend to take things slower, you’re not quite as acrobatic as you used to be, you know!

‘There isn’t a lot of representation for older people’

And in a follow-up, Birkholz vlogged about the insights he gained chatting to Scott-Presland. ‘Older people might be dealing with feelings of loneliness or isolation from the LGBT community,’ he said.

‘There isn’t a lot of representation out there for older people in life in general.’

Birkholz talks us through the myths and misconceptions of senior LGBTIs face, but also the beauty in leading a life well-lived.

One of experiencing the full spectrum of intimacy, love, and sex.

On how young LGBTIs can do better

However, the 22-year-old also talks about how young people perceive those older than them in a negative light.

‘We, especially as younger gay men, reject older gay man in queer circles as we see them as creepy or we just feel like you can’t relate. Like, we can’t connect with an older generation.’

He added: ‘We need to rework how we treat the older generation in queer spaces and I think we need to specifically advocate for providing space for and reach out to older members of our community even if we feel like we can’t necessarily relate to them.’

Birkholz celebrated the differences and similarities between the generations. Advocating that young and old build friendships and solidarities with one another.

What is Digital Pride?

Digital Pride is the online movement, created by Gay Star News, so you can take part in Pride whoever and wherever you are. Even if you are from a country where being LGBTI is criminalized or leaves you in danger – it’s a Pride festival you can be a part of.

In 2019, Digital Pride is tackling loneliness and isolation with articles and videos connecting LGBTI people. Join us by reaching out to someone who needs it. The festival takes place on Gay Star News from 29 April to 5 May 2019. Find out more.

See more from #DigitalPride

See also

This gay man has great advice about having sex when you get older

This important video explores coping with loneliness as an older LGBTI person